Why the Holidays Trigger Anxiety and Depression

When the Holidays Bring More Stress Than Joy

You’re not alone. For many, the holidays stir up more pain than peace.
Even when there are moments of warmth, the season can bring a sharp undercurrent of anxiety, depression, grief, or emotional overwhelm. And yet, we’re surrounded by messages that say we should be “joyful,” “grateful,” or “making the most of it.” That pressure to feel good can make you feel even worse.

As a therapist—and someone who’s personally faced holiday grief—I want to offer a different way of thinking about seasonal mental health.

What if anxiety and depression are like check engine lights, not failures?
What if your nervous system is trying to say something—not something to hide from, but something that needs tending?

Why Mental Health Spikes During the Holidays

This season asks a lot—logistically, emotionally, relationally—while offering little space to process or rest. Some common contributors:

• Unrealistic expectations
  The pressure to create a “perfect” holiday often leads to disappointment, shame, or burnout.

• Financial strain
  Even with planning, holiday costs can trigger stress, guilt, or scarcity fears.

• Grief and loneliness
  Absences feel sharper this time of year—whether from loss, estrangement, or distance. Even joyful traditions can carry sadness. (grief and the holidays)

• Relational tension
  Family gatherings can stir up old wounds. Without clear boundaries, stress builds fast. (relational therapy in Renton)

• Disrupted routines
  Travel, hosting, or late nights throw off sleep, eating, and daily rhythm—making emotional regulation harder.

• Less sunlight
  In places like Renton and Seattle, we get a lot of gray days, and in the fall, shorter days mean lower serotonin and more melatonin—fueling both anxiety and depression. (seasonal depression)

• Little emotional space
  For many, it may often feel like there’s no room to say “I’m not okay.” When hard feelings surface, people may numb out, stay busy, or shut down. These are nervous system responses—not moral failings—but they can keep you stuck. (nervous system regulation)

How Your Nervous System Responds

Maybe you try to override discomfort by:

• Saying yes to everything

• Numbing out with food, alcohol, or scrolling

• Staying busy to avoid feeling

• Withdrawing, feeling disconnected or exhausted

These aren’t weaknesses—they’re protection strategies. But survival mode isn’t sustainable. This also kicks up shame, often shaped by unspoken expectations of how you think you “should” be feeling—leaving you trapped between pressure and silence.

In therapy, I often see holiday distress as part of a bigger pattern—unmet needs, unspoken grief, unrepaired relational pain. The holidays just bring it to the surface. (trauma-informed therapy)

What You Can Do Differently

The goal isn’t to force yourself into joy. It’s to respond to your symptoms with curiosity and care.

• See symptoms as signals
  What if your anxiety or depression is asking for support, not suppression? (holiday anxiety and depression)

• Set boundaries
  You can say no to traditions, plans, or gifts that leave you depleted. Rest doesn’t need to be earned.

• Create new rituals
  What feels meaningful now may be different than years past. That’s okay.

• Stay gently connected
  Connection doesn’t have to be big. A shared meal, a short walk, a simple check-in can ease isolation.

• Keep a rhythm
  Your nervous system needs anchors. Stick to simple rhythms—sleep, light, movement, food.

• Let grief be part of it
  You don’t need to “get over” your losses to move through this season. Grief belongs, too. (grief and the holidays)

• Reach out for support
  You don’t have to white-knuckle through the holidays. Therapy creates space to name what’s hard and care for yourself in new ways. (therapy for anxiety in Renton)

Support Makes Space for the Truth

The holidays don’t have to feel perfect to hold meaning. And they don’t have to be something you simply survive.

If this season brings up more than you expected—or more than you want to carry alone—therapy can help.

At my practice in Renton, WA, I support clients through anxiety, depression, grief, and trauma with depression therapy and relational, body-based approaches like Lifespan Integration (LI) Therapy.

Whether you’re navigating seasonal overwhelm or something deeper, trauma-informed therapy can help you build internal safety, create more capacity, and care for yourself in new ways.

Together, we can make space for your real story—one that holds both pain and possibility. You don’t have to carry it all. Especially not now.

By Jacquelyn Baker